Doocy Of A Question: To Cheese Or Not Before Biden

With all the existential Qs challenging our modern minds I ask, “Why in the world would anyone ruin a juicy angus, grass fed, ¼ Ib burger by topping it with a smelly cheese?

In fact, why would anyone put a foul-smelling substance that tastes like dirt & smells like an old shoe in their mouth? And yet I AM THE ONE constantly shamed by cheese-loving friends & relatives who question my sanity for making the point. Especially, after conceding during the ensuing heated existential debate that I LOVE Sara Lee Cream Cheese Cake & Chicago Deep Dish Pizza. “HYPOCRITE,” is a word I hear often then. I try to explain that a properly prepared cream cheese cake is a sweet, aromatic delight & what little taste or smell the pizza’s gooey mozzarella in Sweet Home Chicago has is amply drowned in the overpoweringly wondrous Italian herbs, spices, sausage & tomatoes. Never mind. It’s like trying to talk sense into a radical Democrat who can’t stop extolling the virtues of Leninist policies or a Die Hard ultra-conservative who still thinks ancient Roman justice via crucifixion has merit.

In the interest of unity as demanded by President Biden, I will go along with what ever he says about cheese on top of a burger. And, even though Mr. Biden doesn’t seem to want to talk about anything but ice cream to inquisitive reporters while pushing for restaurants to reopen. Because I don’t want POTUS to go off into an angry tirade as if I’m Fox News’ White House Peter Doocy.

Davd Soul