Good Couple Friendships Start At Home

WSJ op ed says “Make Friends With Another Couple – Your Relationship May Depend on It.” Friendships may be the best “ships” to sail with BUT don’t think either couple’s headwinds can or should be navigated easily in the journey.

Put another way, making friends with other couples is certainly a key to leading fulfilling lives for any husband & wife, but a marriage already on the rocks is not going to be salvaged by others & may even make things worse for all involved. Bottom line agrees author Elizabeth Bernstein: “Finding the right match is tricky, but worth it … Building a couple relationship is a lot like dating, except all four people have to click. There are political differences, geographical barriers & personality incompatibilities that can ruin a coupling before it starts.” On the other hand, she argues, “Couples who have more couple friends are happier in their own relationships & more likely to stay together … Hanging out with another couple can provide social support & help you see your partner in a new light,” i.e., a positive one, when others openly show how likeable they are to them.

Again, as with your own mate, patience in risk-taking is a needed virtue. “It gets tougher to make any new friends as we get older,” Bernstein notes. “Gone are the days when we can approach a new kid in the sandbox & happily just start playing together. Couple friendships can be scary in some pretty grown-up ways, as well: envy, extramarital attraction, listening to a couple on the rocks bicker through dinner.” Hence that earlier suggestion to make sure your own house isn’t divided before trying to hook up with another house that is just as united.

Davd Soul